She told me that she noticed a recurring theme in each of our sessions and those were about not coping well with failing and/or just completely avoiding it altogether. Because I do so, I have fear of failure. It is apparent in my generation and those that are around my age in general. I fear failure in a sense that I would rather not do a task if I know I will fail at it in the end or if I am afraid that I will, because I may think something is too hard or I am embarrassed about what others may think of me so I tend to avoid the task completely. I freeze and I freak out on the inside. This all applies to when I am taking a course at school. I tend to try and find the classes that I can 'breeze' through or not have so much work that I have to think about it. I even avoid certain classes that involve discussing the topics given each week and/or presenting certain material to the class, because I am afraid of embarrassing myself by appearing unknowledgeable in the topic or just plain dumb.
I can truthfully say and believe that I am at a fixed-growth mindset and I really do want to learn more about this subject in order to improve the way I think about growth and learning. This has peaked my interest since I came across the realization of how I view myself and my capabilities. Currently I am still battling having to change the way I am thinking about how I can improve the way I view my classes, because I know one class in particular this semester that I am not so excited about. I am not interested to the point of letting go of the class, this is in part because of my fear of not passing the class anyway and just plain embarrassing myself because I may not keep up with the readings and/or just appear interested in the topic at all. This applies to not exactly knowing where my goals during this semester in my courses will lead. I just hope and pray for the right answer.
(Finding Inspiration. (Somewhere in Twitter).)
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